Silliest Expats Questions – April 2017

Thanks to Facebook groups we are not alone anymore: perfect strangers can give us lifetime financial advice, help us with our problematic relationships or suggest questionable career paths. Unfortunately there are people out there that take advantage of this selfless kindness with silly questions and complaints. We have therefore decided to collect the silliest expats questions for the month of April:

dublino
Guys, I need some advice: I will finally start working as kitchen porter in the centre of Dublin tomorrow…of course I lied about my experience so I want to ask to people who have had this job: what should I do to avoid mistakes? […] thanks!
The bronze medal goes to this desperate Italian man in Dublin. Of course, we all have lied in our Cvs – who isn’t an “expert in the use of Word, PowerPoint, Publisher and Excel”, as well as a part time programmer? – but we know that if the employer falls for it we can always catch up with improvised courses on Google, or by asking questions to our favourite Facebook groups.

This is not the case of our dear Italian friend and we would like to calm him down by reminding him that Kitchen Porters – or scullions, as they were called back in the days – are usually hired on the basis of having four functioning limbs; if you meet this criterion “you’ll be grand”, as they would say in the Fair City.

std

In second place we have an expat in the eternal city, who is so kind to ask a difficult question on behalf of a friend who has apparently fallen victim to the Roman spring. It’s quite difficult, however, to picture how the conversation between the two went:

Hello expat friend, I think I may have an STD, but I don’t know where to get tested here in Rome, maybe I should Google it…”

“Don’t worry my friend, I’ll ask on a Facebook group”
“You can write that it’s for me, a friend”
“Sure thing!”

Problem solved.

discrimination

The winner is an unfortunate Berlin expat who feels discriminated by the evil Germans. A Berlin based company, which didn’t advertise any position, received her lovely job application, outlining her excellent skills and numerous qualifications, written of course in English. They feigned some humanity by replying in the foreign language, but told her that they only accept people that have been speaking superior languages since their date of birth.

The expats rightfully complains that knowledge of the local language should not be a discriminating criterion for hiring new people: companies should adapt the composition of their staff and modify market targets according to the unrequested job applications that fill their HR email inbox.

Unfortunately we can’t give her legal advice –  random members from the group have already done so – but we can easily assign her the first prize. Let’s just hope she won’t find it that discriminating.

(Feel free to send us on Facebook or Twitter other silly expat questions for the month of May)

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